Its been a while...

Amber and I both have been in a fog for the last few months. The ups and downs of this journey have been both humbling and exhausting. At this moment, our doctor is on the hunt for sample or extra medicine to help reduce the cost, as well as an amazing amount of people who have donated to our cause getting us one step closer to meeting our baby. We have an outline of a bottle pinned to our wall that has slowly "filled Up'" as we collect the funds. Every time I look at it, I can not believe we are getting closer and closer to a try. I have to swallow the knot in my throat every time I say "try" because I know, and Amber knows... That it could very well be just that. But we are thankful, and positive.
The fund raising site closes today and we are almost to our goal.  We are making progress.

I happened to look through the fund raising site the other day and saw that there were funds for children, funds for cancer and sicknesses you would never imagine. I am so thankful that we are healthy, happy and have family and friends to support us. Hope keeps us looking forward and never sad about the dates that have passed and what they were "supposed to hold". Hope keeps us happy. I wish every one and any one they love all the best, no matter what today brings or yesterday held.

Here is to the hope December holds, the journey, and the sheer amount of drinks I will consume while my wife is on hormones. Happy Monday every one.

Wow

This whole journey has taken my breath away. Many times. From meeting the Dr who has held our hand the entire way, to the support of our friends and family that continuously humbles me. I received an e-mail last night from Amber's best friend that brought me to tears, and lifted me up all at the same time.

She had taken time from her very busy schedule and created a web site for Amber and and (and now to be called Baby-to-be-McGuire), to help us raise the necessary funds to make our dreams come true. The amazing ability for the people around us to continually surprise Amber and I, and help us through this has been overwhelming. Knowing times are tough for every one, but people are still willing to help us have a shot at bringing this little person who we have been waiting to meet for the last 4 years, who we have had names picked out for since before we had colors for the wedding... To help us meet our baby. I am speechless.

So once again, as I have said so many times, and will continue to do for the rest of our lives. To every one out there reading, or listening... Thank you. Thank you from my family. Heaven forbid, but I hope you all know that if the time ever comes where you might need help know Amber and I will be there.

Here is the site, if any one is curious...

http://www.giveforward.com/karenamberandbabytobemcguire

Tears, Fears & Hope

This journey has been ones of ups and downs but we've always found our way.  This past Sunday, we felt our way was lost for good.  Maybe it was ignorant to think that things would be smooth sailing.  Maybe we were purposefully oblivious of what our change of plan would mean.  But, on Sunday morning, we watched our dreams shatter right in front of our eyes. . .

We've always made our way.  We found a way to pay for the wedding of our dreams and afterwards began saving for getting pregnant.  At that time getting pregnant meant some sperm and a baster.  Once we wised up that the baster wasn't the optimal plan, it meant sperm and a visit to the clinic.  While, in retrospect, this plan was on the cheap, it was daunting for us.  But we are the McGuires and we make things happen.  When this amazing doctor entered our lives it seemed like fate was giving us the thumbs up and again, although the cost was rising, it was worth it and manageable.  Then things changed... plans changed... and with that, costs changed.

In the roller coaster of events, we never stopped to ask.  We were so wrapped up in saving our dream, in still having a baby be a possibility, that we overlooked the obvious.  A simple trip to get breakfast makings for our hungover besties turned into tears.  A bill in the mail was for 15 times the original amount and is due by our next appointment... 10 days.  That didn't include the hormone injections that we also need at the next appointment.  It felt like the walls were caving in.  Like we just watched our dream slip away...

It's four days later and the fear is still very real.  Today was the first day that we may have answers and, with that, hope.  Turns out the wrong bill was sent.  We actually owe half as much and have until  the date of the egg harvesting which gives us more time.  Both of those make this situation better but still difficult.  Namely due to the cost of the hormones that we still need one week from tomorrow.  But with the updated news, some luck, and an angel, this just might happen...

It's terrifying that all this and it still might not take... That we might have to figure all this out again.  And I could go to the place where this wouldn't be an issue if something wasn't wrong.  But neither of these thoughts are productive.  Neither of these changes anything.  Maybe hope, love, and a little karma can...

Plus, we are the McGuires... we can do anything....