A Lateral Move

It was all planned and we were right where we needed to be.  The cycle, sonograms, and blood test all signaled go for our first try this Thursday and Friday.  But then...

Yesterday my wife posted about the HSG test we had where the preliminary results showed some not so great things.  After a some tears and sangria, we tried to sleep on it until our appointment with our amazing doctor this morning.  We met up at the La Jolla office pretty solemn, knowing that there was a good chance that we were about to receive news we didn't want to hear.  After dropping my pants for what feels like a daily ritual, the doctor confirmed our fears...

My left fallopian tube has some abrasions and scar tissue and my right, well, has some sort of traffic jam.  We went into his office to talk about our options.  I can have a very invasive procedure that would clean up the scaring and possibly relieve the jam and then continue with our current plan to conceive OR we move on to In Vitro.  We completely trust our doctor and feel very connected to him and his entire staff so in this moment, Karen turned to him for guidance.  Luckily for us, Dr Smotrich is one of the foremost In Vitro doctors in the world and I'm not exaggerating that even a little.  In some messed up way, this plan suits him better.  He has more control of the process which makes it 4 times more likely that our tries will be more successful.  And mums the word about the likely hood of twins and more with In Vitro...

So, after a day of tears and soul searching, we are both coming to terms about this "lateral move" as Dr Smotrich called it.  I'm coming to terms with the information I have found out about myself.  It's something you take for granted.  Why would I have any issues with my lady parts?  It's not life threatening and, had it not be for trying to get pregnant, I wouldn't have known and it would never have effected me.  But that doesn't change that I feel a bit broken.  That being said, the doctor is very confident in my fertility... my tunnels are just not working and need to be by-passed.

Now we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and start the new plan that includes cameras in my uterus, birth control (crazy right, birth control to get pregnant), hormone shots, egg harvesting, and implantation.  All that takes our timeline for our first try to Halloween... well worth the wait.  Sometimes this feels hard and overwhelming but it's something we've always wanted and will do whatever it takes to make two McGuire's become three.

We sincerely thank everyone for the support.  Turns out this adventure is just getting started...

Post Dr... Pre Assumption

OK. So here we go. We always knew this process would be a roller coaster. Little did we know HOW much of one it would be. After a "simple" HSG, an iodine injection into the Uterus and fallopian tubes, would we find that there is "some scar tissue" in the left side of the fallopian tubes, and possibly a block in the right side. No one could have ever predicted this. From "there might be some scar tissue from your appendectomy" to, "the right side could be blocked"... Every part of this process has been scary, but this has to be the worst... We are optimistic. We are hopeful and there is no reason not to be....

Anyway, on the path the the 3rd McGuire, we have hit speed bumps, we have hit problems, but this is the first question mark.  Yet, this will not stop us.  We are Mommies,  and this will not stand in our way.  With our family and friends behind us, we could find out tomorrow that this is nothing but a small obstacle.  Nothing will stand in the way of our family.  We are McGuires and Devyn or Greyson will be a part of us soon.

My wife

My wife. I could not begin to describe the woman that not only agreed to marry me, but promised despite all of my flaws, even ones she didn't know about before the ring, to love me and stand by me. When amber and I met I knew she was strong. Head strong, body strong, and more than any thing emotionally unbelievable. I sit here today in the waiting room of... Well the 4th or 5th dr of this process. Today to have iodine pushed into her body where no one wants iodine, to make sure her body is as prepared as it can be to accept our child. That sentence just takes my breath away. This entire process has been overwhelming, scary, exciting, any other descriptor imaginable... But that's just for me. She has this enormous weight of all if these scenarios coming together just right to have a chance of making a baby. Wow. And tonight a 16 yr old will do it on accident. And all I can do, as her wife is sit here and hold her hand. All I can say is thank you. To all of our friends and family who follow us down this crazy road. To every one keeping up with us, cheering for us, and most if all keeping good thoughts around us.

My wife. Wow. Soon to be the mother of our child. Wow.

Beating the Trade Deadline

 So I didn't imagine posting again this quickly but things happen and need to be shared....

In the process of planning this whole fiasco, we obviously had to decide on a donor.  Try as she might, K's not coming up with the goods necessary to make it happen.  We have always known that we were not interested in it being someone we know.  This kid has enough going on, we don't need a Grey's Anatomy Callie, Arizona, McSteamy situation.  So we did our homework and used the search feature on our Lesbian-Owned high-end Pasadena sperm bank, road tripped up there for our overwhelming consultation and went over the previously selected contenders long profiles with a fine toothed comb.  Result... Big winner number 403.

Funny how things happen.  It was 403, 403, 403 but then, as the final pieces began to fall into place, issues popped up with our Number 1.  Without getting into too much medical/things you never learned in health class jargon, the type of specimen we wanted wasn't available.  K and I decided that maybe it was a sign and we should take a second look.  See if anyone else had thrown their hat in the ring.  So tonight, after opening some celebration wine in honor of missed loved one and with the sounds of American Ninja Warrior on the TV, we went back to check the search.

Being people of some intelligence, after inputting the search criteria, we started with the last page and number 6999 stood out from the rest.  So much so that we busted out the ol' credit card to get the long profile without trekking to Pasadena.  Perfection... a small little donor with a small healthy little family along with many other McGuire like qualities. Plus additional non-genetic highlights like the sister being a former gymnast and pole vaulter.

So now, after months of being team 403, we have jumped ship.  At the final hour, we made a last minute trade and what we believe is an upgraded to . . . 6999.

And the adventure continues...

Am.

And So It Begins. . .

We've talked about it forever.  Before engagements and weddings.  Before Mission Valley and Boston.  We've always wanted a family.  Today marks the first big step to that becoming a reality.  We've taken the time and we've done our homework.  From the pie in the sky dream of "at home" to driving to Pasadena, the plans have definitely undergone change.  Now, with the guidance and help of an incredible doctor, we take a deep breath and one step at a time on a journey that we can't wait for. . . 


Today was so simple and yet so much more.  A blood test... An ultrasound... Nothing to write home about on a normal day but this was anything but normal.  It's step one.  It's step one on this grand adventure that recently has felt so far away, so difficult to achieve, and yet things seem to fall into place.  Next step, next week.  All on our way to making our dreams come true however long that takes.  However many tries.  However much it costs.  This is what our dreams are made of.  


We're The McGuires.  We always figure it out and have a hilarious time doing it... 


Here's to step one.  Welcome to our journey.